Here's an article I wrote for the student newspaper of my uni. It will be surely cut down to a meaningless article, because that's what all our world has come down to nowadays : more and more information and less and less meaning. It is a clear Baudrillardian study of students elections, but it's adaptable to every elections. I've also been asked what I mean by Baudrillardian. Well Jean Baudrillard is a thinker who wrote about how hyperreal our world is becoming. To understand how our world is imploding, I'll advise anyone who can think critically to read " Simulacra and Simulation" by the same author.
Even the least engaging student would have noted the elections going around. Though I don't know to what extent I can call it an election. Of course I can, students are voting for a representative, I can assume the countdown won't be tricked and there is more than one candidate: all the ingredients for a fair election. But there are a few problems in sight. And they are not petty.
Well, the first thing to notice is that, probably like last year, the lack of interest of the students undermine the legitimacy of this election. Last year, only 10% of the students voted for a student representative. In some countries, it's not considered a valid election if it represent only a small proportion of those concerned. Coming from a country where voting is compulsory ( Belgium), I'll confess that I like to practice whenever I can my right not to vote. But I do need a reason not to vote, other than better things to do. I'm not saying that all the non-voting students share this position, I'm only saying that there is maybe a reason why the students aren't interested.
That's when the ridicule elements of these elections sank in me. I Make most of my observations at st. matts because that's where I study. But being a small campus, it might have been easier for me to approach some candidates and observe the different flyers - sorry, I meant “manifesto”- given around and the impressive amount of propaganda posters ( ask the candidates and they will all tell you they want a greener uni). I didn't find a poster that spoke to me. Most of the posters where common orders to vote for someone I didn't know. Some insulted me for not voting for someone I didn't know: I took this one as definite proof of the partisanship of political freedom.
The pictures on the posters were also interesting. They destroyed all sense of seriousness about this election. I've seen some posters with American Presidents on it. Was it aimed at the small American community of UWE, or did it signify that they thought like American Leaders. If I was on that road, I would have been more presumptuous and associate myself with Gandhi, or Stalin. Aren't these as much to the point as any other leader? I've also seen posters showing American flags, I'm assuming they're strong patriots in the wrong country, or poster that would show the mascot of the candidates. This last one is also an intriguing trend: a person needing a mascot. It's like Ronald being invented before McDonald's.
But I am being a bit superficial here. My problem is that there is not much to say about the content of this election. All the candidates in contention for the Student Representative President position formulate the same program, as they did last year : a more representative student union, better transport infrastructures, fighting for student rights ( god forbid actually stating said rights) against uni and “ more stuff to do” ... Some did add little things, but like a candidate said “if I say too much, I'll give promises I can't keep”. The candidates have only mentioned the problems most students have. Their solution is a promise to sort it out.
I don't know much about the power of the Student Union. I can only estimate that it doesn't give out much, except for the pecuniary compensation for the heavy duties, since no one wants to fight for it in the name of some real believes or values. What these students represent are the consensus. Our choice is to vote for the one we estimate would do the best job, as a technician, as Student Representative President, not the one who stands for our values. I couldn't see anyone expressing different values, anyone being exaggerated, there's no commie, no anarchist, no tory, no crazy, no labour, no one admitting they don't care, no religious fanatic, no sexual pervert, no snob, no intellectual elitist, no one different. I don't know, maybe I'm exaggerating, I hope I am, otherwise I'm just witnessing the slow death of democracy here at UWE.
Wednesday 18 March 2009
Thursday 5 March 2009
really short story
So as an introduction, here is a small text I wrote for fun, but inspired me on a long project. I'm sorry for how immature this text sounds. Another one, with the same subject, is on its way. Anyway, since this one is done, I thought I might put it on the blog. I'm open for all critic, though I'm pretty sure I've heard them all ( too much reference to masturbation ( or creation, i forgot ), maybe a bit too oral in style, but if you feel you have good constructed critics, please do go for it). Enjoy !
Creation is masturbation and vice versa.
Sunday, as we call it now. And I wonder what the fuck I have done. I should have planned the whole thing. Well, now I'm out of it, I might as well sit back and keep watching. I mean I did it so I wouldn't be as bored anymore. It is cool to be omniscient, in a way, but there's no more surprise. I liked the power, but fuck I didn't know there could be guilt coming with it. I won't do anything anymore. I quit. I might as well.
It started with a caprice. I was omniscient, but what good does it do in the void. I mean void means no space, therefor no time. It's easy to be omniscient of course, when you are the only thing that might move or change. Well it wasn't as easy as it sounds. I couldn't see anything. Well now I can use an expression like it was as dark as a camel's ass. I had nothing to do except touch myself. An eternity of masturbation. I got bored, so I said put the light on. And the light appeared. So instead of seeing nothing, I saw blank, white everywhere. I stayed there a while. Touched my-self for a few hours more. I used to touch myself in the dark, but that wasn't the same thing. I decided to put on some cloth, not too tight so I could still discreetly do it, just in case I was watched. You just never know. I'm still wondering if I'm being watched by times.
So a few hours later, or days, or years, I didn't know really since there was nothing to give me the time, I decided to have a desk. I don't remember well what I said. I think I said let there be expanses... I wanted a bit more space. An office of some sort, so I could maybe “work” privately, some private heaven. You know, I decided I'd have a room I wouldn't touch much, and another room where I could play some games. Like “ let there be...”, a cool godly game I had just discovered. I thought it was a fun game once starting it. I also let my beard and hair grow a bit. Make myself look serious. Don't know. Boys will be boys.
It's afterwards that it became tricky. I mean I knew more or less, until that moment, what I wanted or needed for my fun. I mean I had the word or concepts to do what I had done so far. I divided the water closet from the office and the water closet from the other room, that i've put under my heaven. The thing is that I wanted something different for my creation. I wanted to have fun. So what I did is while the water was as big as eternity in the heavens, I decided to concentrate all the water from under. I've put it all in one round thing, so I'd have to concentrate and aim when I'd pee from now on. I also tried to take a dump there once I created it. The dump floated. So I took a few more. I liked what I did. So I decided to baptise this dump. That's what artist do, no ? I called it Earth. But of course, it smelled like shit. So I decided to invent sprays machine. This one took me time. I went “let there be vegetation” but the smell stayed, I mean grass couldn't do much. So I went “ Let there be plants yielding seed, you know, fruit trees” and the smell got a bit better.
When I look back. From there on, I centred most of my work on a piece of shit. What good could come out of it I thought at the time ? I don't know. Still, it's funny because this gas spray, I was astonished how quick there could just run out. They weren't really sustainable. How the fuck should I know that they wouldn't live that long. Just the time to go back to the office and the smell would come back. It took me a while to understand that it's just that when I open the door, the light coming out of heaven would let the plants live. So on the fourth day, I said “ let there be lights, to the expanse of the heaven...” This was an ingenuous thing I did. I created lamps that floated between my office and my play room where earth is. Because at first I've put a lamp on earth, but it just heated the shit out of my shit. So with this moving lamp, earth could cool down a bit, and yet the plants had the light they needed. These lamps, which I called planets and stars, had a cool rhythm too. First time I realised what time was.
So when this problem was solved, I walked back to my office. And there I got shit scared. I was impotent, physicaly speaking. I checked my penis and testicules for any lump that could indicate cancer or anything weird. Nothing unusual down there. I turned off the light, maybe it was just seeing myself constantly, the shame of it maybe caught me. Still nothing hard. I had to find something. I mean before playing god, I jerked off for eternity, having nothing to do. And now, my favourite sport just vanished for me. I don't know. So I went down to earth to distract myself. I decided to add a bit of spices to the plants, let them flourish better by adding proteins for them. So I said : “ Let the waters swarm with swarms of living creatures, and let birds fly above earth across the expanse of the heaven...” I thought it'd be fun to have little flying thingys coming from earth to the office. I was walking back to the office, to show birds the way, when I thought of solving two problems with one stone. I said to the fishes and birds “ be fruitful and multiply” ! I had them reproducing, so I didn't have to worry anymore about recreating them all the time. But best of all, I've invented animal porn to my delight. I mean passionate sex like they had turned me on, for a while.
I didn't think about it, but birds and fishes couldn't have instruments ressembling mine. It's neither hydrodynamics or aerodynamics. So it was fun at the beginning. But at some point, I lost my identification with them, I mean they were pleasuring each other, but not like I would do it. So I went on with my game “ let there be...” and I had fun creating all sizes and shapes of animals, every time male and female, so I could have some more recreational time, if you know what i mean. There are now some creatures with huge things and some with small ones. It's just funny to see how they got on with each other. I tried at some point inter-species sex, but they were just too much damages, especially with elephants and other animals like that.
But I don't know how long you can have an erection on seeing animals humping, but I couldn't keep it, whatever the variety i watched. I mean I could watch horses going on once or twice, but afterwards it got monotonic, and that for all animals. So I created a guy like me, a bit younger, a bit more muscely than me, just like I'd like to be. And I made a hot girl. Then I gave them different command. But it was just not that fun. I mean it was interactive. Interaction had been a problem though with the first girl. I couldn't keep giving order without being mesmerized by the scene, i felt like intervening and she wasn't really properly suited for me really. It was a bit like the inter-speceis catastrophes, but on a worst scale. So I had to give these little fuckers free choice. Liberty to do whatever they wanted. And they did profit from it! The things that went through there mind, you wouldn't believe.
So it's Sabbath now and the mistakes I've done just start to sank in my mind. I mean I'm tired as hell. Just too much work and too much masturbation at the same time. I just keep watching from my window. And I see the great sex, which I''m getting jealous off. That's why I just don't answer any prayer. I mean could you imagine the guts they have “ god could you make this wish come true” and so on. I've shouted it once, I won't repeat myself : “ You get sex and I get frustrated, isn't that enough !”. I know I only have myself to blame for that. And I made them to my image. They are going to fuck up like me. Why did I do it ? I guess it was a stupid whim. Be careful what you wish for, fuck yeah. I don't know. It depresses me. But I can't stop watching.
Creation is masturbation and vice versa.
Sunday, as we call it now. And I wonder what the fuck I have done. I should have planned the whole thing. Well, now I'm out of it, I might as well sit back and keep watching. I mean I did it so I wouldn't be as bored anymore. It is cool to be omniscient, in a way, but there's no more surprise. I liked the power, but fuck I didn't know there could be guilt coming with it. I won't do anything anymore. I quit. I might as well.
It started with a caprice. I was omniscient, but what good does it do in the void. I mean void means no space, therefor no time. It's easy to be omniscient of course, when you are the only thing that might move or change. Well it wasn't as easy as it sounds. I couldn't see anything. Well now I can use an expression like it was as dark as a camel's ass. I had nothing to do except touch myself. An eternity of masturbation. I got bored, so I said put the light on. And the light appeared. So instead of seeing nothing, I saw blank, white everywhere. I stayed there a while. Touched my-self for a few hours more. I used to touch myself in the dark, but that wasn't the same thing. I decided to put on some cloth, not too tight so I could still discreetly do it, just in case I was watched. You just never know. I'm still wondering if I'm being watched by times.
So a few hours later, or days, or years, I didn't know really since there was nothing to give me the time, I decided to have a desk. I don't remember well what I said. I think I said let there be expanses... I wanted a bit more space. An office of some sort, so I could maybe “work” privately, some private heaven. You know, I decided I'd have a room I wouldn't touch much, and another room where I could play some games. Like “ let there be...”, a cool godly game I had just discovered. I thought it was a fun game once starting it. I also let my beard and hair grow a bit. Make myself look serious. Don't know. Boys will be boys.
It's afterwards that it became tricky. I mean I knew more or less, until that moment, what I wanted or needed for my fun. I mean I had the word or concepts to do what I had done so far. I divided the water closet from the office and the water closet from the other room, that i've put under my heaven. The thing is that I wanted something different for my creation. I wanted to have fun. So what I did is while the water was as big as eternity in the heavens, I decided to concentrate all the water from under. I've put it all in one round thing, so I'd have to concentrate and aim when I'd pee from now on. I also tried to take a dump there once I created it. The dump floated. So I took a few more. I liked what I did. So I decided to baptise this dump. That's what artist do, no ? I called it Earth. But of course, it smelled like shit. So I decided to invent sprays machine. This one took me time. I went “let there be vegetation” but the smell stayed, I mean grass couldn't do much. So I went “ Let there be plants yielding seed, you know, fruit trees” and the smell got a bit better.
When I look back. From there on, I centred most of my work on a piece of shit. What good could come out of it I thought at the time ? I don't know. Still, it's funny because this gas spray, I was astonished how quick there could just run out. They weren't really sustainable. How the fuck should I know that they wouldn't live that long. Just the time to go back to the office and the smell would come back. It took me a while to understand that it's just that when I open the door, the light coming out of heaven would let the plants live. So on the fourth day, I said “ let there be lights, to the expanse of the heaven...” This was an ingenuous thing I did. I created lamps that floated between my office and my play room where earth is. Because at first I've put a lamp on earth, but it just heated the shit out of my shit. So with this moving lamp, earth could cool down a bit, and yet the plants had the light they needed. These lamps, which I called planets and stars, had a cool rhythm too. First time I realised what time was.
So when this problem was solved, I walked back to my office. And there I got shit scared. I was impotent, physicaly speaking. I checked my penis and testicules for any lump that could indicate cancer or anything weird. Nothing unusual down there. I turned off the light, maybe it was just seeing myself constantly, the shame of it maybe caught me. Still nothing hard. I had to find something. I mean before playing god, I jerked off for eternity, having nothing to do. And now, my favourite sport just vanished for me. I don't know. So I went down to earth to distract myself. I decided to add a bit of spices to the plants, let them flourish better by adding proteins for them. So I said : “ Let the waters swarm with swarms of living creatures, and let birds fly above earth across the expanse of the heaven...” I thought it'd be fun to have little flying thingys coming from earth to the office. I was walking back to the office, to show birds the way, when I thought of solving two problems with one stone. I said to the fishes and birds “ be fruitful and multiply” ! I had them reproducing, so I didn't have to worry anymore about recreating them all the time. But best of all, I've invented animal porn to my delight. I mean passionate sex like they had turned me on, for a while.
I didn't think about it, but birds and fishes couldn't have instruments ressembling mine. It's neither hydrodynamics or aerodynamics. So it was fun at the beginning. But at some point, I lost my identification with them, I mean they were pleasuring each other, but not like I would do it. So I went on with my game “ let there be...” and I had fun creating all sizes and shapes of animals, every time male and female, so I could have some more recreational time, if you know what i mean. There are now some creatures with huge things and some with small ones. It's just funny to see how they got on with each other. I tried at some point inter-species sex, but they were just too much damages, especially with elephants and other animals like that.
But I don't know how long you can have an erection on seeing animals humping, but I couldn't keep it, whatever the variety i watched. I mean I could watch horses going on once or twice, but afterwards it got monotonic, and that for all animals. So I created a guy like me, a bit younger, a bit more muscely than me, just like I'd like to be. And I made a hot girl. Then I gave them different command. But it was just not that fun. I mean it was interactive. Interaction had been a problem though with the first girl. I couldn't keep giving order without being mesmerized by the scene, i felt like intervening and she wasn't really properly suited for me really. It was a bit like the inter-speceis catastrophes, but on a worst scale. So I had to give these little fuckers free choice. Liberty to do whatever they wanted. And they did profit from it! The things that went through there mind, you wouldn't believe.
So it's Sabbath now and the mistakes I've done just start to sank in my mind. I mean I'm tired as hell. Just too much work and too much masturbation at the same time. I just keep watching from my window. And I see the great sex, which I''m getting jealous off. That's why I just don't answer any prayer. I mean could you imagine the guts they have “ god could you make this wish come true” and so on. I've shouted it once, I won't repeat myself : “ You get sex and I get frustrated, isn't that enough !”. I know I only have myself to blame for that. And I made them to my image. They are going to fuck up like me. Why did I do it ? I guess it was a stupid whim. Be careful what you wish for, fuck yeah. I don't know. It depresses me. But I can't stop watching.
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